Blog 8

 TECHNIQUES OF EDITING & REVISING A PARAGRAPH

STEP 1 (Free Writing) before editing
My Grandmother
My grandmother. She was a good cook. The best cook. Every weekend we have a big dinner. With big, big, bowls of food. Lots of talking. Everybody in the family there. Every time we eat the same food, but we always love it. Is our favorite meal. She never mad at us. She always defends us when we are in trouble with our parents. One time I picked all the roses in her garden. She not even mad then. Grandmother kind and generous. She gives food to poor people. She never makes them feel bad about taking it. Makes people feel good, just as she made me feel good when I picked all the roses. Thanked me for the beautiful bouquet. Mother really angry. Grandmother always forgives. Forgiving heart.
 
STEP 1 (Free Writing) after editing
My Grandmother
My grandmother. She was a good cook. The best cook. Every weekend we have a big dinner. With big, big, bowls of food. Lots of talking. Everybody in the family there. Every time we eat the same food, but we always love it. Is our favourite meal. She never mad at us. She always defends us when we are in trouble with our parents. One time I picked all the roses in her garden. She not even mad then.[Grandmother kind and generous.] She gives food to poor people. She never makes them feel bad about taking it. Makes people feel good, just as she made me feel good when I picked all the roses. Thanked me for the beautiful bouquet. Mother really angry. Grandmother always forgives. Forgiving heart.
 
STEP 2 (Write the first draft)
Write your paragraph in rough form.
Don’t worry about the errors.
My grandmother
My grandmother kind and generous. She never mad at us. She always makes people feel good. One time I picked all the roses in her garden. She not mad even then. She made me feel good. Thanked me for the beautiful bouquet. Grandmother gives food to poor people. She never makes them feel bad about taking it. Makes people feel good, just as she made me feel good when I picked all the roses. Grandmother always forgive. Forgiving heart.
 
STEP 3 (Edit the first draft)
This is when you start to edit the 1st draft
You need to check & make changes & corrections
There are 2 steps:
STEP A
You check the paragraph as a whole
Is the meaning clear?
STEP B
Check the paragraph for good form, organization, grammar, punctuation, spelling & etc
STEP 4 (Write the final copy)

You write a neat final copy of your paragraph to hand in to your lecturer.Task 8: Based on the movie that you have watched in the class, retell the story in your way and if you were the main character, what would you do if you were experiencing the same situation?

The story is all about a new man as he rode the stranded airline crash. This happens because the aircraft was experiencing problems due to bad weather with heavy rain and thunderstorms. At the crash in the Pacific Ocean, he was safe because he got a floating boat and eventually landed on a deserted island. Other crew members was died. He looking around the island and try to find someone. Unfortunately the island is not in inhabited. He tried to find a way to get help. He carved the word "HELP" on the sand, but the next day it disappeared. So he decided to collect enough wood to make the "HELP" word from there. After all done, he tried to find something that he can drink and eat. He found coconut and had broke to open the coconut on the stone and drink the juice. In an effort to find other things, he walked around the island and the climb the hill. When he was on the hill, he found someone lying in the water and rushed got it. When he close it was someone of their staff. She took him to the island and he took shoes and flashlight from him. Then he buried the dead and write epitath on the stone. He also found a cave on the side of the island. Every time it rains, he is hiding in the cave. He made a friend and he call them name is Wilson ball that he got from fedex package that he was chosen by the beach. After four years later, he had lived there. He can catch fish and crabs with spears that have been made by himself. He was always trying to get from the island, but the waves are too strong and always take him back to the island. Finally, he gathers the wood from the forest as much as he could and made his own raft. He began to sail through the ocean. He has successfully escape from the large waves of the island. When he was in the middle of the sea, suddenly rain with thunder storms. But he was lucky because the raft is not badly damaged. Not long after that, while he was in a state of unconsciousness on a raft, a large ship carrying containers save him and finally he was able to return to his country.

If I was the main character, I would try to find much alternative to returning as soon as possible. I do not want to live alone on the island too long, its was silent and gruesome. To support myself lived alone on a deserted island, I would try to find some food to eat and drink to resume my life. I want to make a weapon for catching fish or crabs, and to defend themselves from wild animals. I would also like to make a hut for me to take shelter, to protect themselves from the heat and bad weather. If there is a nearby cave, I will hide in there. however, I will try my best to make a strong raft to cross the ocean and finally found a ship that can take me back to my place.