TECHNIQUES OF EDITING & REVISING A PARAGRAPH
STEP 1 (Free Writing) before editing
My Grandmother
My grandmother. She was a good cook. The best cook. Every weekend we have a big dinner. With big, big, bowls of food. Lots of talking. Everybody in the family there. Every time we eat the same food, but we always love it. Is our favorite meal. She never mad at us. She always defends us when we are in trouble with our parents. One time I picked all the roses in her garden. She not even mad then. Grandmother kind and generous. She gives food to poor people. She never makes them feel bad about taking it. Makes people feel good, just as she made me feel good when I picked all the roses. Thanked me for the beautiful bouquet. Mother really angry. Grandmother always forgives. Forgiving heart.
STEP 1 (Free Writing) after editing
My Grandmother
My grandmother. She was a good cook. The best cook. Every weekend we have a big dinner. With big, big, bowls of food. Lots of talking. Everybody in the family there. Every time we eat the same food, but we always love it. Is our favourite meal. She never mad at us. She always defends us when we are in trouble with our parents. One time I picked all the roses in her garden. She not even mad then.[Grandmother kind and generous.] She gives food to poor people. She never makes them feel bad about taking it. Makes people feel good, just as she made me feel good when I picked all the roses. Thanked me for the beautiful bouquet. Mother really angry. Grandmother always forgives. Forgiving heart.
STEP 2 (Write the first draft)
Write your paragraph in rough form.
Don’t worry about the errors.
My grandmother
My grandmother kind and generous. She never mad at us. She always makes people feel good. One time I picked all the roses in her garden. She not mad even then. She made me feel good. Thanked me for the beautiful bouquet. Grandmother gives food to poor people. She never makes them feel bad about taking it. Makes people feel good, just as she made me feel good when I picked all the roses. Grandmother always forgive. Forgiving heart.
STEP 3 (Edit the first draft)
This is when you start to edit the 1st draft
You need to check & make changes & corrections
There are 2 steps:
STEP A
You check the paragraph as a whole
Is the meaning clear?
STEP B
Check the paragraph for good form, organization, grammar, punctuation, spelling & etc
STEP 4 (Write the final copy)
You write a neat final copy of your paragraph to hand in to your lecturer.Task 8: Based on the movie that you have watched in the class, retell the story in your way and if you were the main character, what would you do if you were experiencing the same situation?
The
story is all about a new man as he rode the stranded airline crash.
This happens because the aircraft was experiencing problems due to bad
weather with heavy rain and thunderstorms. At the crash in the Pacific
Ocean, he was safe because he got a floating boat and eventually landed
on a deserted island. Other crew members was died. He looking around the
island and try to find someone. Unfortunately the island is not in
inhabited. He tried to find a way to get help. He carved the word "HELP"
on the sand, but the next day it disappeared. So he decided to collect
enough wood to make the "HELP" word from there. After all done, he tried
to find something that he can drink and eat. He found coconut and had
broke to open the coconut on the stone and drink the juice. In an effort
to find other things, he walked around the island and the climb the
hill. When he was on the hill, he found someone lying in the water and
rushed got it. When he close it was someone of their staff. She took him
to the island and he took shoes and flashlight from him. Then he buried
the dead and write epitath on the stone. He also found a cave on the
side of the island. Every time it rains, he is hiding in the cave. He
made a friend and he call them name is Wilson ball that he got from
fedex package that he was chosen by the beach. After four years later,
he had lived there. He can catch fish and crabs with spears that have
been made by himself. He was always trying to get from the island, but
the waves are too strong and always take him back to the island.
Finally, he gathers the wood from the forest as much as he could and
made his own raft. He began to sail through the ocean. He has
successfully escape from the large waves of the island. When he was in
the middle of the sea, suddenly rain with thunder storms. But he was
lucky because the raft is not badly damaged. Not long after that, while
he was in a state of unconsciousness on a raft, a large ship carrying
containers save him and finally he was able to return to his country.
If
I was the main character, I would try to find much alternative to
returning as soon as possible. I do not want to live alone on the island
too long, its was silent and gruesome. To support myself lived alone on
a deserted island, I would try to find some food to eat and drink to
resume my life. I want to make a weapon for catching fish or crabs, and
to defend themselves from wild animals. I would also like to make a hut
for me to take shelter, to protect themselves from the heat and bad
weather. If there is a nearby cave, I will hide in there. however, I
will try my best to make a strong raft to cross the ocean and finally
found a ship that can take me back to my place.
